Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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