Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
