I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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