She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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