READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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