Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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