Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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