Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
