I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
