im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do vagina's smell?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
