Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize