The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
