tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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