love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
