I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
