dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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