What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
