I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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