what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize