I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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