and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
