I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
