Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
