Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
