She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
