Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
