highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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