Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
