sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
