a queef is a wish your heart makes.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
