You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
