It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
