you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
