Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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