ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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