either way he was missing a nipple.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
