Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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