I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
