I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
