Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
