mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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