If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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