you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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