He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
