Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
