Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
