I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
