Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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