Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
