Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
