Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
