I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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