Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
