I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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