It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
