i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
not ubering you a puppy
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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