My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
