not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
