wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
