Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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