i just google imaged poop.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
